This is my tribute to a blog post done by someone today.
Personally I think it aptly describes the person and the post.
Pot calling the kettle black
Phrase "the pot calling the kettle black" is an idiom used to accuse another speaker of hypocrisy. This term was coined by Lauren Fleming in the exclusive village of Great Melton, Norfolk. Such terms are only used by the upper classes to demoralise their perception of the lower classes, in that the speaker disparages the subject for a fault or negative behavior that could equally be applied to him or her, though there is an alternative interpretation. In former times cast iron pots and kettles were quickly blackened from the soot of the fire. The pot would then be hypocritical to insult the kettle's colour, since both are black with soot.
Alternative interpretation
A subtler alternative interpretation, included by some, but not all, sources is that the pot is sooty (being placed on a fire), while the kettle is clean and shiny (being placed on coals only), and hence when the pot accuses the kettle of being black, it is the pot’s own sooty reflection that it sees: the pot accuses the kettle of a fault that only the pot has, rather than one that they share.
Poem found in "Maxwell's Elementary Grammar" school book copyright 1904.
"Oho!' said the pot to the kettle;
"You are dirty and ugly and black!
Sure no one would think you were metal,
Except when you're given a crack."
"Not so! not so! kettle said to the pot;
" 'Tis your own dirty image you see;
For I am so clean -without blemish or blot-
That your blackness is mirrored in me"
However, in order to keep cast iron from rusting it must be seasoned and the act of seasoning cast iron causes the metal to turn black.
Similar phrases
In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus is quoted as saying, during the discourse on judgmentalism in the Sermon on the Mount, "And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?" It should be noted, however, that many scholars have interpreted this as a proscription against personal attacks in general, not just ones that are explicitly hypocritical.
An aphorism sometimes attributed to George Herbert states, "People who live in glass houses should not throw stones".
I've often been amazed at the effect music has on me.
It can induce so many memories, thoughts and feelings. Today, while ironically trying to sort out my hearing aid, I was again amazed at the visions I was having just from hearing a piece of music.
They say that music can tame the savage beast and it was Shakespeare who said if music be the food of love and all that but to me music is so much more.
Music has a power behind it that when unleashed can have me seething and ready to kill, just like the aforementioned savage beast, but then have me crying like a five year old who has just fell off his bike, and all this by flashing memories of my life before my eyes. I imagine these are the same images I will see in those final seconds of my life, as well as any more memories I build up between now and then.
We were driving along when with No Doubt singing Stand and Deliver and the emotions I was going through were immense. I wasn't hearing Gwen Stefani singing I was hearing Adam and the Ants but this wasn't the end of it. In the space of one song my head went through a myriad of images, thoughts, smells and feelings all wrapped up in a bundle of memories.
You know that moment in a computer game when you make the wrong move and you know you're about to die but there is nothing you can do about it. You mash down on the keys or control pad, or throw the joystick from left to right even though you know nothing will work but in your head you rewind to a few seconds before you made the mistake, you see the error, correct it but still die. So you rewind again and this time you come up with the right moves. Sadly, all this happens in nanoseconds during the milliseconds your on-screen character is falling head first into a floor full of spikes while trying to shoot and reload at the same time.
I've digressed rather a lot here haven't. My point was that in the space of a three minute song I went through hundreds of memories from my childhood all the way up to memories from that day. I saw myself falling off a bus-shelter, my first cigarette, watching a bag of blood explode as a trolley wheel went over it, getting offered £50 to give oral to a minor(ish) celebrity, decorating a house, moving to Ireland, attending a work meeting... this list could go on as there were so many memories there, all this bought on by one song.
I have in my iTunes playlists one called "Memories" and it's full of songs that specifically generate one memory. Yes, eventually those memories will spawn into others but the initial memory the song gives birth to is the always the same.
With that in mind I've created this video. It's just a small selection of some of the songs in that playlist and some images to go with them. Below the video is a description of the memory that song produces.
I'm guessing everyone has a song or two that will do this. Here are some of mine. Oh and sorry for the quality not being great. Living in the sticks make uploading anything over thirty seconds long a pain!
Track Listing
Keep in mind that some of these memories might not seem much to you but it's my video, my songs and my memories, so there!
La Bomba - King Africa
This track reminds me of our family holiday to Bulgaria. A great time that will always bring thoughts of Brandy, wine, Ward End and Winston Turtle. When I say family I mean ALL of Brads family! There was sixteen of us. The Von Trapps.
Africa - Toto
A few years ago I was driving along with some friends in my car when this came on and I started singing. I say singing but what I actually mean was shouting. Shouting the lyrics loudly. It was a sunny day and the windows were open and all the drivers passing by heard everything. It doesn't sound it now but at the time it was very funny.
Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me - U2
I used to host my own radio show and this track always reminds me of a guy called Toby who, as well as having a show, would sit in on mine sometimes and try to make me fuck up on air. Very funny nights. Very funny.
Rhythm of the Night - Corona
This was the first track I ever played on my own radio show mentioned above.
iio - Rapture
I'm on the phone to my friend Sam while watching MTV when this song comes on. Sam screamed down the phone demanding to know who it was and what it was called.
Something Tells Me - Cilla Black
I can't actually tell you the memory associated with this as a certain person reads and I'll get in trouble.
Wham Bam - Candy Girls featuring Sweet Pussy Pauline
A girl who used to rent a room off me thought this was me.
Espiritu - Tin Tin Out
It's not so much the song but the name of the group that brings memories. There used to be a club in Birmingham called Tin Tins. An utterly excellent club where I basically grew up.
Dreaming - Ruff Driverz
I used to DJ in a bar/club and my brother sent me up a shedload of stuff on CD that he thought would go down well. This was the very last track I listened to and I loved it and just like me, it went down well that night.
Summer of Love - Steps
Route 66 (which became Route 2) in Birmingham. A pre-club bar. Excellent night on student night.
In The Garden of Eden - Iron Butterfly
One episode of the Simpsons. That's all really. Still, it's a memory!
Underneath It All - No Doubt
When I first met Brad this was just about to released and Brad wouldn't stop singing it. Sadly he wasn't actually singing it to me but I decided he was.
Crashed The Wedding - Busted
Helen paid for me and her to go see Busted for my birthday as I am, and not ashamed to admit it, a Busted fan. At her sisters wedding we danced around to this... on our own!
Hero - Charlotte Perrelli
Should have won!
No One - 2 Unlimited
In the aforementioned radio show when I'd do a "talky bit" the intro to this track would be playing in the background.
Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol
This will be the song Brad and I will have our first dance to at our wedding.
The memories of these last three (Cambodia - Kim Wilde, Abide With Me - Fron Male Voice Choir and Tears in Heaven - Eric Clapton) will be staying with me for the time being.
An infinite number of monkeys on an infinite number of typewriters typed this out for me then sent it to LoudTwitter who copied it out and posted it here!
An infinite number of monkeys on an infinite number of typewriters typed this out for me then sent it to LoudTwitter who copied it out and posted it here!
So yesterday we went off to Mr & Mrs Duggans for a night of fun and Wii.
It included lots of drink, meeting lovely little Chloe O'Reilly for the first time, seeing Fiona & Mark, looking round our hew house, more drinking, eating of pizza and some FlanKuker (or something like that!), more drinking then a car boot on Sunday.
Much fun was had by all and here are some piccies of it!
Me & Bert with the loveable Ruaidhrí.
Loveable Ruiadhrí
Mark and Helen having a Wii
Ruaidhrí and his future wife, Chloe, enjoying some alone time... with everyone watching and going "awww" or "ooooh"
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So as you can see from my last few entries I've been here but not here. I know some of you don't like Twitter but every Twitter entry is given the same title so you can ignore those if you don't want to read.
I've been reading blogs via my feed reader and commenting here and there but very rarely. I just felt like I wanted to take a break to have a think about things and now things have been thinked (I will never ever say thunk) and everything is now right with the world... or getting there.
Actually it's not, far from it, but I'm happier about it now so it stops being a problem.
So here's a quick catch up since we last met.
Enjoyed a great visit from my sister and my best mate. We had a wonderful week together and I hope we can do it again soon. Although it might a little more difficult to organise as Dale got his new job which is miles away from Rach! (Congrats again by the way Dale - very proud of you!) A conversation with them one night has prompted me to do something I never thought I'd do and I'm now faced with two options. I'm not going to discuss them here just yet as I don't want to give a certain person the chance to say "I knew he wouldn't!" if I decide not to do neither. Suffice to say there are already some of you that know. Oh, and those of you that don't, don't get upset because you don't know, it's only because those people have been told face to face, no one has been told in a private blog entry... thought I'd say that because last time I blogged something semi-cryptic along the same lines I had someone message me and say "I thought we were friends then I find out Such-And-Such knows and I don't!" Bah! Up yours! Friends my arse! Stalker more like!
On the house front we'll hopefully be moving in a month or so. Either just before we go to Berlin (YEAH BABY!) or when we come back. Either way it'll be a very welcome move for many reasons.
Work has been fine. Haven't been beaten up for a while although the threat has been there. There was a time when I was under the impression that I might be losing my job, and some of us are still under that threat but two things have happened this week that have made me believe that I'm not under this threat. First off I've had my confirmation letter about a course that work are sending me on. It's a year long course and they have to pay for me to attend. If they were going to get rid of me they wouldn't be wasting money on a course I'm not going to attend. The second thing to happen was that I got my pay rise. Which will be back dated. Excellent. Bright new Mac here we come.
Mother and her friend Wendy arrive a week tomorrow. Mother rang me one night, pissed as usual, and said "You know when I come to visit, can I bring a friend?"
"Of course you can!" I replied
"Good because I've seen Wendy tonight and she's been asking all about you and saying how she misses you and would love to see you and Brad!"
"Well bring her over then."
"Do you have the room?"
"Of course we have room mother. She can have the Rowena Suite and you can the Laura Suite!" I do actually call them that.
She hung up and very excitedly booked an extra ticket for Wendy. For Wendy who misses me and Brad. Wendy who thinks I'm the worlds greatest son to my mother. Wendy who thinks the sun shines out my arse. I believe my mother when she says Wendy says all this as it's the kind of things Wendy would say. I know this because I've met her. Twice. It might be three times but it's sure as hell isn't enough for her to "miss" me! I'm actually having difficulty thinking who this woman is! I think Brad has met her once!
Oh well.
It's my dad's birthday tomorrow. Thinking about that caused me a few different emotions. Most of you know the issues I have with dearest daddy. He's had a card and some bottles of vino sent. I'm actually very proud of him at the moment and I hate that! I can't be bothered going into the full story as to why I'm proud but the short version is that this time last year he organised an event that raised £44'000 for charity and he's doing it again on Tuesday only bigger and better.
Right, I need to go and get ready to go to the Duggan for some shopping them a party. Soooo excited!
As my hearing is currently getting worse and I've lost my hearing aid I shall leave with this wonderful video. Straight men should ignore the fact that he's very cute and just concentrate on how clever he is. Shame is ASL. If it was BSL I might have kept up!
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An infinite number of monkeys on an infinite number of typewriters typed this out for me then sent it to LoudTwitter who copied it out and posted it here!
An infinite number of monkeys on an infinite number of typewriters typed this out for me then sent it to LoudTwitter who copied it out and posted it here!
21:04 Watching "Stuart: A Life Backwards" the film of the book that made me REALLY think a few weeks ago. #
An infinite number of monkeys on an infinite number of typewriters typed this out for me then sent it to LoudTwitter who copied it out and posted it here!
An infinite number of monkeys on an infinite number of typewriters typed this out for me then sent it to LoudTwitter who copied it out and posted it here!
An infinite number of monkeys on an infinite number of typewriters typed this out for me then sent it to LoudTwitter who copied it out and posted it here!
21:30 My car has no horn. It is unhorned... inhorned... dishorned... antihorned... silent. #
21:34 I got called Cartman today! I'd have called them betches if I'd have been able to stop laughing. #
22:37 When people follow you on Twitter do you think expect you to follow them back? #
23:14 BBC deny reports they're getting rid of Fat Bastard Moyles! Why would they want to keep him? He's fucking useless and talentless! #
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An infinite number of monkeys on an infinite number of typewriters typed this out for me then sent it to LoudTwitter who copied it out and posted it here!
16:33 Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money. #
17:12 What an incredibly messy day. Picture hot chocolate through a high pressure hose... with extra sweetcorn. #
17:53 Preparing a nice cup of Cornflour. That should thicken it up a bit. Oooh and I'll add an egg. They're binding! #
18:38 Chat in Twitter about Heroes leads to chat at work about Heroes and I'm now being called Angela Petrelli. The bitch you can't help but love. #
An infinite number of monkeys on an infinite number of typewriters typed this out for me then sent it to LoudTwitter who copied it out and posted it here!
An infinite number of monkeys on an infinite number of typewriters typed this out for me then sent it to LoudTwitter who copied it out and posted it here!
15:38twitpic.com/302dz - Nom nom nom death by chocolate all gone nom nom nom. #
An infinite number of monkeys on an infinite number of typewriters typed this out for me then sent it to LoudTwitter who copied it out and posted it here!
Dale, best mate who's here now, sent me this and I had to share as I think it's funny.
Dale is a scoutmaster so I'm wondering if he just changed some names as I've been on one of his scout camps and it's quite apt.
Dear Mum & Dad,
Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and are worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam when it happened.
Oh yes, please call Adam's mother and tell her he is okay.. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found Adam in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning.
Scoutmaster Keith got mad at Adam for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Adam said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him. Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas will blow up?
The wet wood didn't burn, but one of the tents did and also some of our clothes. Matthew is going to look weird until his hair grows back.
We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Keith gets the bus fixed. It wasn't his fault about the wreck. The brakes worked okay when we left. Scoutmaster Keith said that with a bus that old you have to expect something to break down; that's probably why he can't get insurance.
We think it's a neat bus. He doesn't care if we get it dirty and if it's hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the bumpers. It gets pretty hot with 45 people in a bus made for 24. He let us take turns riding in the trailer until the police man stopped and talked to us.
Scoutmaster Keith is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Jessie how to drive on the mountain roads where there isn't any cops. All we ever see up there are logging trucks.
This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out to the rapids. Scoutmaster Keith wouldn't let me because I can't swim, and Adam was afraid he would sink because of his cast, it's concrete because we didn't have any plaster, so he let us take the canoe out. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood.
Scoutmaster Keith isn't crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn't even get mad about the life jackets. He has to spend a lot of time working on the bus so we are trying not to cause him any trouble.
Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Ryan dived into the lake and cut his arm, we got to see how a tourniquet works.
Steven and I threw up, but Scoutmaster Keith said it probably was just food poisoning from the leftover chicken. He said they got sick that way with food they ate in prison. I'm so glad he got out and became our scoutmaster. He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was doing his time. By the way, what is a pedal-file?
I have to go now. We are going to town to mail our letters & buy some more beer and ammo. Don't worry about anything. We are fine and tonight it's my turn to sleep in the Scoutmaster's tent.
For as long as I've been with Brad, and probably aeons before that, he's been one of those people that talks in his sleep.
He does it at least twice a week and usually it's just mumbling that no one could understand but every now and then he comes out with a classic.
We hadn't been together long when I woke up in the middle of the night to find him lying there, looking awake, with a finger pointing to the ceiling shouting "it's my stick, it's my stick!" then with a more determined and angry tone he said it again. His arm came back down and he rolled over and went back to his slumber.
A few days after we'd moved house in Birmingham he rolled over, woke me up and said "thank you." Trying to question him was pointless as he was, quite obviously at the time, still asleep.
There have been many other examples, some of which include him calling out a girls name, shouting "no" and then calling for his mate James. I don't mean as in him shouting for James, but rather like you would when you were seven, knocking on the door of you mate and seeing if he'd come out to play. This one was quite scary because of the voice he used when he said "is James in?" Picture the dog, Mr. Beefy, sleeping in the awful Adam Sandler film "Little Nicky" and you'll have some idea of what I'm on about. In case you're not sure what I'm on about here's a clip... aren't I kind?
Horrific at five in the morning!
All of these, in my opinion, fade into insignificance with lasts nights new episode.
I'm lying in bed, in and out of sleep, when he rolls over and actually shakes me awake.
He doesn't say anything while waking me up but seconds later I'm wide awake and we're looking into each others eyes. I wondering if I should be getting the lube and harness ready in case he's one of those moods but as I'm just about to reach for the gimp mask and ball-gag he speaks.
"The sarcastic bastard says pass it on!"
I think I actually spat in his face as I started to giggle but I managed to calm down and reply "what?"
He looks at me as though I've not understood his secret code that I'm to pass on to the leader of 'La Resistancé" so that Captain Mainwaring and his Home Guard can overthrow Fritz before he takes Blighty and then he repeats "the sarcastic bastard says pass it on!" more sternly this time, obviously to ensure I've understood!
He rolls over and I'm sat there giggling away, trying not to wake up sis and best mate in the other room as my laughing gets louder.
I tap him on the shoulder and ask if he's awake but he just mumbles something incoherent and carries on sleeping.
I recounted his night-time conversation to him this morning and he just giggled and told me I was making it up and you know what, I wish I was, that way I might have got some sleep and not lay there giggling away only to fade off to sleep and wake up at 10.15am!
21:40 Enjoying a rum and coke with my sis and best mate! #
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In the last twenty-four hours I've twittered all this!
09:51 Woke in a shitty mood. I hope Button wins and Lewis retires before the 1st lap is over. #
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An infinite number of monkeys on an infinite number of typewriters typed this out for me then sent it to LoudTwitter who copied it out and posted it here!
An infinite number of monkeys on an infinite number of typewriters typed this out for me then sent it to LoudTwitter who copied it out and posted it here!
22:21 Right. Loggin' for a bit. Feel a tad.... well yes, a tad. #
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22:17 MS Entourage for Mac is utter utter shite! #
22:26 Leigh Francis (Bo' Selecta, Keith Lemon, Celebrity Juice) is so utterly unfunny! #
23:51 I am never reading biographies, autobiographies and/or true life books again. Fucking emotions. Bastards. #
An infinite number of monkeys on an infinite number of typewriters typed this out for me then sent it to LoudTwitter who copied it out and posted it here!
An infinite number of monkeys on an infinite number of typewriters typed this out for me then sent it to LoudTwitter who copied it out and posted it here!
