Best viewed at www.iamlanders.com

There are too many to keep up with on the recent entries page so I'm having a cull.

If you go it's because you're inactive or we've not connected and you're just taking up room on my bcuk home page.

It's been swell but the swellings gone.

EDIT: All done. 21 people gone (I have a list). Sorry and all that. If you reeaaallllly think you should still be there and can convince me otherwise then message me and tell me why. Yeah, that might sound arrogant but it's my blog isn't it!

Before I tell you how my hospital appointment went let me give you a quick rundown of the last couple of days. This way you should have a clear idea of the state I was in upon arrival at the hospital, let alone by the time I finally got home!

As I was going to working nights on Wednesday and Thursday I decided to stay up as late as possible on Tuesday. I do this whenever I'm going to be working nights and it always fails. I went to be bed at 2am. I woke up at 8am Wednesday morning. So in the afternoon I decided to go back to bed. If I could get a couple of hours then I knew I'd be fine.

I lay there awake.

So off I go to work. Wednesday night is uneventful. I spend the night awake although I'm honest I think I dropped off for about five minutes during Groundhog Day. I don't know how long it was but I did that thing where you head snaps back and you take a deep breath in and wonder where you are and how long you've been there. Thursday morning one service user wakes up around 6am and is awake for the rest of the shift. He's a lovely lad but a bit annoying as he prods and pokes a lot and he's the one that head-butted me three weeks ago.

The day staff arrive and I can go home. By the time I get home I've been awake for 24hrs 45mins, approximately. Now I'm one of those people that finds it very hard to go to sleep without some sort of slight noise. Be it traffic, music, a radio or the television, either way if I don't have some slight noise it takes me ages to get off to sleep... unless i"m drunk. My gorgeous sis lent us Season 1 and 2 of Heroes and I've been slowly working my way through them as things in Season 3 don't seem to make sense so I put on the next disc, the third in the box, and crawl into bed ready to go to sleep.

As one episode rolls by (45 minutes long!) and the next starts I'm still awake. As the second episode finishes I can finally feel my eyes getting heavy an I think at most I see fifteen minutes of the third episode on the disc. So give or take a few minutes I'd been awake nearly 27 hours.

I wake up just before 3pm on Thursday afternoon. Four and a half hours of sleep. I lie in bed for another hour so I can at least get some rest if not sleep.

Come 9pm I'm back at work for the night shift. Six hours awake.

The night shift goes smoothly. Not much happens. I play WoW a bit and then look after the same service user who gets up early again. The night staff arrive early but as I'm due at the hospital at 9am I stay for a bit and have a coffee with them. I've now been awake for seventeen hours.

By 8.30am I'm at the hospital and they kindly agree to see me early as they know I've been on a night shift at the JPC.

So the doctor can't believe I've been back to the hospital so many times and no one has actually suggested seeing an eye specialist. She points out that unfortunately the eye specialist don't start until 10am so she suggests I go get a coffee and come back as she'd rather I didn't drive given the condition of my sight.

Come 10am I'm back, as ordered. She explains she's spoken to the eye specialists and they've requested a scan before seeing them to rule out any brain injury. The bad news is that the earliest they can fit in a scan is 2pm. As the doctor doesn't want me driving she asks that I stay around the hospital somewhere, maybe getting more coffee, and head back to the X-Ray department for 2pm. It's 10am. I've been awake for 19 hours, 11 of which have been work related, so I'm not in the best of moods. Being told I cannot leave the complex is not the best news I've heard and I decide to ignore it.

Once I've done some jobs in town I head to Mrs. Duggans for a coffee, which she supplies, and the worlds biggest chocolate eclair, which I supply buy from a wondrous bakery in Galway.

Coffee and lovely visit done with I head back to the hospital and into the X-Ray department for 1.50pm, ten minutes early which is just as well.

"What are you here for?" asks the receptionist.
"A scan," I reply.
"What kind of scan?"
"I don't know."
"Do you have you appointment letter?"
"No I didn't get one."
"So how do you know you should be here?"
"The doctor told me."
"Which doctor?"
"The doctor in A&E. She made the appointment this morning."
"And she didn't say what scan you were having?"
"No."
"Well you're not in the system from what I can see and without know what type of scan you're here for I can't check where you should be!"
"Well I'd guess it would be an MRI I'm having."
"Why would you guess that?"
"Because they want to see if I have a brain injury or damage to my eyes."
"Well I can assure you that you will not be having an MRI. It's fully booked for weeks."
"Then it'll be a CT scan."
"Will it?"
"Well yes as they want to look at my brain and eyes so it won't be an x-ray!"
"Right well lets look at the CT list."

She taps and the more I look at her the more I'm sure I'm dealing with Ireland's answer to Carol Beer.

"Oh here you!" she cries, "if you sit down someone will be out soon."

Sure enough, and more efficient than I expected, before I sit down a nurse is there and guiding me into the CT room.

I take off my glasses and hearing aid an put them in my pocket along with my phone and car keys.

"Oh I didn't see the hearing aid. Are you okay without it?"
I go to answer but don't get chance.
"I'm sorry," she shouts, "of course you're not or you wouldn't have it! Can you hear me now?"
I giggle a yes and she tells me to lie down on a very long and thing table. As I do everything falls out of my pockets. Her assistant holds me head still while the nurse rams blocks either side of my head, then shoves foam sheets between the blocks and my head covering my ears so that I really can't hear her now and then tapes my head down. I am not going anywhere... but I am lying down. Something I haven't done in nearly twenty four hours! The position I'm in mixed with the tiredness and the mood I'm in all seem to take effect and within seconds I can feel my eyes starting to close. I pinch myself and I'm wide awake and also angry because my thigh hurts where I just pinched it. Suddenly the idea that I'm angry at myself for hurting myself for trying to stop myself for asleep makes me laugh and as I giggle away I see the nurse wave her hand in front of my face and tell me to keep still.

Next thing I know the whole table moves and I'm being pushed into a massive doughnut, something that I would probably enjoy should it have been a real doughnut. Fifteen minutes later I'm out and and being told to go back to A&E, which I do.

It's not 3pm. I've been awake 24 hours and my mood is slowly going down hill. On the verge of screaming I point out to a nurse how long I've been awake and that I've been in A&E since 8.30am. Okay, I haven't but they think I have! She gets a doctor and tells him off, quite obviously worried that I might make an official complaint and before you know it he's leading me into a cubicle and telling me that the results aren't on the system so he'll go and ask them personally.

He comes back and tells me that there is nothing on the scan so he's rang the eye specialists and they are going to see me now. It's now 4pm. Twenty-five hours awake. The doctor puts drops in my eyes which dilate my pupils.

Now I'm here because of sight problems. My left eye won't focus and my pupils look like this.

Can you see the difference in size?

After the drops they go from this

Look at how red they are! Ha!

To this

I look stoned!

A porter arrives and escorts me to the eye clinic. As we're walking I know he's talking but he's in front of me and I'm buggered if I can make out a clear word. We get to the department, he wishes me well, I thank him and again I'm waiting in a reception.

Without looking at me a woman says "Do you wear glasses?"
"No," I say wondering what she'll do.
"Oh, it says here you do!" then she looks up and sees them sitting on my nose. She sighs and tells me the specialist will me with me shortly.

Finally I'm lead into another room by a german eye specialist with the worlds quietest voice. After the initial interrogation she stops flashing lights in my eyes and instead pours orange crap into them which stings like a bitch and runs down my cheeks. Soon enough she's poking about again and then comes at me with a needle!

"Erm... where is that going?" I ask with horror.
"I neeeeed to put a nerve weelaxencht into yor highs."
"Sorry I can't..."
"Oh don't vorry not viw ziss. I vill not beee injekting yoo!"

I relax and she carries on her examination. In the end, in her strange accent, she tells me that I possibly have a trapped or damaged nerve which is vibrating. It could last another few hours it could be another few weeks. It could also be something else! To find out fully I'll need a complete ocular examination which means another appointment in two weeks time.

It's now 5pm. I have been awake for twenty-six hours and I have no answer to my problems. Instead the end of the tunnel where all the daylight is has moved even further away.

"Go avay and go horme and vee vill zend yoo a letta viw an appointment in it," she says.
"Ok. Thank you," I say not really meaning it.
"Oh, 'ow did yoo get 'ere?' she asks.
"Erm.. I drove."
"Yoo cannot drive horme."

I can't argue with her as I know the mood I'm in what with the lack of sleep and lack of answers I'll just end up shouting so I just nod and leave. In reception I use their phone to call Brad and ask him to call Helen and see if MJ or Rachel can pick him and bring him to the hospital so he can drive me and my car back.

Once outside I realised that by the time Brad has got hold of Helen, MJ or Rachel and by the time they'd got to the hospital through the traffic, we're talking at least two hours, my sight would be back to normal so they'd be no point. I may as well wait and just drive back myself.

I rang Brad and told him his.

Then I walked back to the car. Sitting there I realised that I could quite clearly see everything in front of me... just not the stuff in the car. The speedometer was a blur, as was the radio, the clock, in fact most stuff at arms length or closer was a blur but the road ahead and the cars around me in the car park were perfectly clear. Well, the cars directly to my left and right were a bit hazy but the car in the space opposite mine was clear.

Once safely out the car park it was obvious that the drive home would be fine. Long but fine. Blurry but fine. Slow but fine. Dangerous but fine.

Just as 6pm arrived I pulled into our driveway. Stinging eyes, blurring vision not withstanding I'd arrived home safe.

I'd now been awake for 27 hours. Knowing my sleep pattern I know that if I'd have gone straight to bed I'd have been up at 1am and pissed off so I decided to stay up as long as possible.

Come 10pm... 31 hours awake... I was in bed. We watched the IT Crowd and then went to put a film on. Well come 11pm I was still wide awake and for some reason I had a fit of the giggles. The soon went away and the last time I remembered looking at the clock it was 11.15pm. Approximately 32 hours and 15 minutes awake.

I woke up at 8am.

Phwoar!

Mr. Dunn, until you look like this you have nothing to worry about.

Maybe.

I'm at work.

On night for a week or so.

I have two hours to go.

All I want to do is sleep!

The lads have remained quiet all night and my report says as much.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I completely agree with all this.

http://listverse.com/music/top-10-most-overrated-bands/

01. Name a movie that you have seen more than 10 times
Rebecca, Dodge Ball, The Sound of Music, What A Carve Up, Hot Fuzz, Serenity, Goodfellas, Fright Night 2... I could go on (said Lulu!)

02. Name a movie that you’ve seen multiple times in the cinema
Bladerunner, Exorcist, Independence Day, Texas Chain Saw Massacre... christ, again the list goes on...

03. Name an actor that would make you more inclined to see a movie
Christopher Walken, Goldie Hawn, Cloris Leechman, Lily Tomlin, Steve Buscemi, Roddy McDowell, Bette Midler... and so on...

04. Name an actor that would make you less likely to see a movie
Sean Penn, Jada Pinkett-Smith, David Hofflehass... and on...

05. Name a movie that you can quote from
I'm not going to answer this one as I'll bet I could quote from nearly every film I've seen. Silly question. Do you know what I did for a living many (six-ish) years ago?

06. Name a movie musical that you know all the lyrics to all the songs
I don't. I know a lot of the lyrics to the Sound of Music and South Pacific and Rocky Horror but I doubt I know ALL the lyrics.

07. Name a movie that you have been known to sing along with
Most musicals.

08. Name a movie that you would recommend everyone see
Rebecca.

09. Name a movie that you own
Oh shut up!

10. Name an actor who launched his/her entertainment career in another medium but who has surprised you with his/her acting chops
I have no idea.

11. Have you ever seen a movie in a drive-in? If so, what?
Phantoms

12. Ever made out in a movie?
Yes

13. Name a movie that you keep meaning to see but just haven’t gotten around to it
Hmm... I can't think of one.

14. Ever walked out of a movie?
Natural Born Killers

15. Name a movie that made you cry in the cinema
Armageddon, Goblet of Fire, The Green Mile... I'm quite sure there are others.

16. Popcorn?
Hot, covered in butter and sugar.

17. How often do you go to the movies (as opposed to renting them or watching them at home)?
Not very often as it's miles away and I hate the amount they charge!

18. What’s the last movie you saw in the cinema?
Wanted

19. What’s your favorite/preferred genre of movie?
I kinda like them all apart from Anime. Anime is bollocks.

20. What’s the first movie you remember seeing in the cinema?
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

21. What movie do you wish you had never seen?
None.

22. What is the weirdest movie you enjoyed?
Donnie Darko

23. What is the scariest movie you’ve seen?
The Elephant Man

24. What is the funniest movie you’ve seen?
I have no idea. There are lots of funny films.

Tagged by QueenMab

If you want to play too, type your answer to each of the questions below into a Flickr search. Using only the first page, choose your favorite image, then copy and paste each of the URL's into the mosaic maker (3 columns, 4 rows).

The questions:
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you attend?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One word to describe you?
12. Your Flickr name?

I tag Scoobydoofus, JakeTaylor, RunDontWalk, Rampage, Sminchin, Soyunperdedor and NittyGritty

Click the image for the large size.

1. One, 2. Two, 3. Three, 4. Four, 5. Five, 6. Six, 7. Seven, 8. Eight, 9. Nine, 10. Ten, 11. Eleven, 12. Twelve

So in the news there was all this to-do and hoo-har about the membership list of the BNP being published on a blog site.

The blogsite was then closed down.

Erm... I have the full list. Do I publish it? Should I set up a blog somewhere and post the list again? Personally I'm happy to do anything to shame these racist wankers.

I will not be emailing it out to anyone should they ask it.

*cough*

Well my headache is back with avengence. I caught a glance of myself in the mirror earlier and was amazed at just how big the difference in my pupil size is.

I took a picture but it needs cropping before I post it.

Looks like I may be heading back to A&E sooner than I thought.

So my friend Samantha came to see us over. We had a great time. While she was here she told us a story about our friend Helen. Not the Helen in Ireland but the Helen who's 30th we went to earlier on in the year. See here and here.

So Helen, bless her, has always been a little erm... silly with her words. She doesn't mean to do it but she comes out with some classics and this latest is just the best so far.

She works for a recruitment agency and has to email many companies with offers of staff. She then speaks to these companies and asks them how they feel about the staff offers.

So recently these companies have been saying they're not receiving her emails but she's sure she's sent them.

She turns to Sam, in the middle of shopping, and very loudly says "Maybe I should I ask them to check their jam and spunk folders?"

Sam is asthmatic and this latest Helenism nearly killed her, as it did Brad and I when the story was recounted to us.

Landers
Tuam, County Galway, Ireland

Mr. Microsoft,
Microsoft
1 Microsoft Way
Redmond
Washington
USA

19th November 2008

Dear Mr. Microsoft,

Nintendo and Mac should be honoured you find their stuff so good that you have to steal it.

When I first saw Windows Vista all I could see was a very basic... and I do mean basic... version of the Leopard operating system for Mac. There was nothing new or special about your product. The more I looked the more it became blatantly obvious that someone at Microsoft had been paid to look at Leopard and pick out the bits they thought the public liked more than others. Come on people, at least Win95 was unique! Okay okay so Win95 was basically just an improved version of IBM O/S 10 but lets face it, no one had heard of it or used it properly to warrant you getting found out. Sadly, now the Mac user is on the rise you're on the verge of looking stupid when you release new and innovative software which is really just copied - and done badly at that.

So, you try to make out that you're the best because you've got a new bit of software but really but people in the industry know you're just big liars.

Now I'm not one of those Mac people that thinks everyone should use a Mac! Heaven forbid! I'd have nothing to complain about for a start and what would happen to being elitist then? I will admit that PC's do some things better... but only because the software hasn't been written for the Mac yet*. I do, however, think that credit should be given where it's due.

So Mr. Microsft CEO, I think it's high time you said a massive thank you to Mac for giving you the building blocks of Vista and another thank you to Nintendo, seeing as how you stole the Mii and stuck on the Xbox 360, as well as giving the 360 a new Mac looking/based operating system.

Microsoft, I love PC's as much as I love Mac as essentially they are all the same thing but you make me angry with your plagiaristic ways. There is nothing wrong with PC's, nothing at all, Microsoft is the problem - the big problem.

You bunch of wankers. Did Gates retire because he was ashamed - I think so!

I hope this letter finds you well and I look forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions soon.

Kind regards,

Landers
Mac User.

*And probably never will be because if you can't do it on a Mac it's not worth doing!

I love Fail Blog!

So yesterday I headed, with Brad, to my 9am appointment at A&E to see how I am after my head injury.

My headache has finally gone although today it appears to be back but only slightly but my eyesight is still screwed and today it feels worse. I'm seriously getting pissed off with this. The doc looked at my eyes and told me my pupils were different sizes and I have another appointment for ten days.

Bollocks!

After having Sky News on for the last four hours I finally decided to switch over. As there was fuck all on I ended up watching something called "Just Shoot Me" so I'm going to do just that fly to America, find the producers and directors (can't blame the actors) and just shoot them. I consider this my civic duty.

Well the tour is over so I supposed this, and all the other tat, was to be expected.

What's very wrong is that I know, I just know, I'm going to end up liking this and all their future work.

Out on the 24th November... go buy it!

Click here as they've now removed embedding! Bastards!

Gay called - it's for me!

From: johana@somethingorotheraboutbestgayblogs.com
Subject: Congratulations! from Best Gay Blogs
Date: 17 November 2008 16:59:05 GMT
To: landers

Congratulations! BestGayBlogs.com has just awarded your blog our coveted Silver Award. This award is only given to sites that have met certain criteria. Your site met those criteria and our judges have approved your use of our silver award image which you can proudly display on your blog.

Best Gay Blogs

Marvellous!

If you don't know what I'm talking about then click here.

Brad

If you don't know what I'm talking about then click here.

My friends and my family.

If you don't know what I'm talking about then click here.

My doggies and all the doggies I've ever had.

If you don't know what I'm talking about then click here.

Music.

If you don't know what I'm talking about then click here.

THe extra strong pain killers the doctor at A&E gave me last night.

If you don't know what I'm talking about then click here.

Nipping off to buy Brad a new car.

If you don't know what I'm talking about then click here.

I'm a day late reading the entry so this is really for Monday and then I'll do one for Tuesday.

So...

My answer for yesterday would have to be - looking forward to my friend coming at the weekend.

Ladies and gentlemen... I give you my sister.

Today, every MP should have a copy of 1984. Every one of them should then look at this image
and then read the book. Twice.

Click here for the full story.

The British Government truly is a pile of wank. As much as I'm thankful I don't live there anymore so they can have little influence on my life my friends still do and I feel sorry for all each some a few of them. It may not be all his fault but as leader and as the figure head of Labour Gordon Brown should take some responsibility and apologise for being such a fuck up.

Okay, so he didn't personally make the mistakes but if Lesley Douglas can resign from Radio 2 for the crap that those two cunts pulled then Brown can fuck off as well! All Jonathan Cunt and Russell Cunt did was "a prank" - they didn't fuck up a country!

I'd like it noted that I have never like Ross or Brand and have always considered them vulgar cunts.

So how many days in office will Obama manage before he's assassinated?

Personally I think he'll be lucky if he does a year.

Good luck to him.