So if you ignore the Twitterings we last left our impressive heroes preparing for a short bus trip from Templehof Airport to Schönenfeld Airport to meet Kelly aka RunDontWalk aka Menomama. En route we passed a Woolworths which I had to photograph just to show Helen as we don't have Woolworths in Ireland.
As always, click the pictures to see a bigger version!
We stood around and waited for her to come out of the arrivals doors with me pacing up and down demanding to know where she was when all of a sudden Rampage ran off towards a woman with the longest arms in the world. At first glance they look like the normal arms of any normal woman but when you see her hug someone and she manages to wrap her arms around them twice and squeeze real tight you see her arms are wonderously encompassing. You'd be forgiven that thinking maybe the person she was hugging was extremely thin and she was really bendy but when you see her hugging three people at once you see that it is that she has arms long enough to do this and heart that matches! - as in it's big, not long and bendy!
Back on a bus, then U-Bahn and S-Bahn we were soon back at Chez Rampage and after a quick tinkle, poo, drink and change of clothes we headed downstairs to a bar just below Chez Rampage to drink some beers! Mmmm beer!
We watched as the owner chastised those people who dared to ride bicycles on the pavement and not the cycle path, laughed as she took pictures of us wearing frog hats (see the name of the bar), sniggered at the inability of Rampage to pour a pint, wow'd at the picturesque tattoo's of NittyGritty, Oooo'd at the tales of the Greenwich meet and smiled with glee as the bar owner let us sign her apron. Soon our tummy's were a-rumblin' so it was off to an Ethiopian restaurant for some din dins.
Now you'd be forgiven if you thought for one minute that by going to an Ethiopian Restaurant that you'd not get much to eat. I think I may have found the reason they are all starving... because they send all the food to this restaurant! No matter what you order, or who orders what, it all comes out on a massive tray covered in bread with your order placed on the bread. You take a piece of the bread and scoop up some of the food. I had a raw beef dish which was out of this world but a bit of problem for NittyGritty as she was a vegetarian and in the low light of the restaurant it was hard to tell which dish was which! We managed though and en enjoyable meal was had by all. We didn't finish all of it as there was so much but thankfully BeriinNights (Matt) turned up after flying back from the Land of my Fathers and polished off what we'd left. I had a mango flavoured beer which was very very sweet and came in a wooden bowl which of course lead to the obligatory picture of me wearing said bowl! A bowl is not a bowl until it's been on some persons head!
Once the meal was over we headed to a gothic bar called Cynanide (only spelled in Germanish!) which is going to take some describing! First off it was down some stairs in what appear to be a cellar. If this had been a movie then Matt would have been a vampire leading us into his dungeon. I say Matt because he's the only one I'd not seen in the daylight! Of course Rampage and Grit could have been his minions of some sort but both of them were too nice to be that really! Our table was a coffin with a class top... with a body in it! The menu was apparently cursed by voodoo to stop people stealing and should you try you'll get warts on your buttocks! The menu was also rather insulting saying things like "Becks - for stupid people. Bud - The Latvian stuff not the American stuff, for the tourists. Coke - for the weaklings**" and things like that. Going to the toilet was an experience! The hallway leading to the toilets was in the pitch and it wasn't until you were a third of the way down that a strobe light starting flashing to semi-illuminate the way! As you walked into the toilet the light, activated by a sensor, came on and if you stood too long at the urinal it would turn off again leaving you, once again, in the pitch - which too be honest, is the best way to be in those mucky mucky toilets!
We drank and drank some more, with only Stephen and I partaking in the litres of beer, everyone else drinking shorts! At one point I thought my luck was in as Stephen through a condom at me and winked but all he really wanted was to see my world famous trick of putting a condom up my nose and bringing it out my mouth. I thought I'd leave out bringing it out my mouth inflated until our next visited. Suitable disgusted or impressed the drinking continued until we were all a little merry. Unfortunately the drinking lead to the revelation of certain events from our past... no, that's wrong... drinking lead to revelations from Stephen's past... stories concerning jugs and the many uses of. I'd like to reveal more of this story but there are a number of things stopping me.
No.1. It's disgusting and may sully the good name of my blog.
No.2. It may disturb some bloggers.
No.3. I quite like Stephen and don't think it's fair to damage his already drowning reputation.
No.4. Stephen has the power to delete my blog!
Matt left to catch his train but soon returned as he'd missed it and ended up coming back with us to sleep at Chez Rampage.
With a room already full with me, Brad, Stephen and Kelly, one more didn't seem to make much of a difference... until the farting started. It was like listening to bears guarding cubs and marking out their space. First one would go, then another, then another and at one point I was quite sure Kelly actually imploded! About an hour after we'd actually got into bed there were some strange noises coming from the general area of Stephen and Matt who were sharing a bed and I was quite tempted to get the camera out but then I heard Stephen shout "Keep quiet!" so I settled back down. I don't know if he was telling Matt not to moan too loudly or telling Brad to keep the snoring down but either way it worked as when I awoke in the morning they were gone, having headed off to work!
I think that'll do for now. Coming up in the next entry... Kelly reveals who was farting in the night, Stephen buys us dinner and we visit blog.co.uk headquarters!
TTFN!
Chyna_Doll
Looks like so much fun! Ooh I am looking forward to the next bit and am curious about what it's like behind the scenes of BCUK!