My day off and I've been awake since 6.45am.
Fuck it.
Posts archive for: May, 2008
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It never ends...
@ 2008-05-30 – 20:03:07
I honestly don't think I've been this fucked off in a long while.
I'm not depressed, I've been there and I know it's not that, I'm pissed off.
So incredibly pissed off.
So much is going wrong, lots of small things that are building up and I'm slowly losing the will to deal with them all. Just when things begin to look up something comes along and proves to me that I was wrong and things aren't looking up at all and to add insult to injury the problem marches up and kicks me in the bollocks just so I don't get too comfortable.
I'm pissed off, angry, fed up, sore and all I want to do is curl up and cry myself to sleep but I don't even have the energy to do that. I like a good cry. I think more people should cry. It can often sort everything out. Right now though I'm passed that stage.
Fuck it.
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Warning - this entry contains fucking swearing!
@ 2008-05-26 – 21:34:35
Well after such a fantastic time in Berlin things have slowly gone from bad to worse since we got home. Which is one of the reasons I haven't actually finished telling you the rest of the story about our fantastic time in Berlin.
Actually it all started on the train towards the airport in Berlin. The guy stood next to me seemed to have forgotten to put his deodorant on that morning so fucking stank and the Scottish woman sat opposite us, talking to her German daughter-in-law, was quite obviously putting on a stupidly posh Edinburgh accent (something I have great experience of thanks to being with a complete cunt for five and half years) and it kept slipping now and then.
This was just the beginning of my troubles which has culminated in being car-less, having to fork out many euros for a hire car which has now gone back so tomorrow I have to go to work in Brad's car, which causes enough problems anyway!
Mother has rang and told me she'll be here on Tuesday 3rd so she can celebrate my birthday, even if it is a few days late but I honestly, and yes it sounds down and depressing and I don't give a fuck, I honestly see nothing to celebrate.
Bah! Not in a good mood thanks to many many many fucking factors, all of which seem to be coming to a head.
Arse fuck shit wank cunt bollocks and twat!
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Please help!
@ 2008-05-17 – 13:23:41
Please click and vote for Out and About!
It's a great great charity and very worthy.
http://www.klfm967.co.uk/poll/charity_vote.php
Follow the link and choose OUT AND ABOUT.
Thank you.
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It could quite possibly be my anniversary.
@ 2008-05-17 – 11:59:23
Now if you go and look at my profile you'll see that apparently the date I joined is 23rd May 2007. This date is wrong and not just because, as most of you know, I joined BCUK in May 2005.
Last year a few bloggers joined me in Birmingham for my birthday which happens to be June 1st. One of my gifts was a tee-shirt that said "Loves kids! As a parent not a sicko!" which I found hysterical and what made is extra special was that it also happens to be one of my tags. On the reverse of the shirt it said "I'm a foster dad!"
Anyhoo, once back in Wales I showed off my tee to our foster lad. "That's one of your tags isn't it?" he asked at which point it was blindingly obvious he read my blog. Thus the arrival of Landers (and old nickname from school) and the death of Paddy (a new nickname from Wales!). I stopped blogging in GayButNotWelsh and in RobsPlace and started using LandersUK, which is where I've been since.
So, this change of blog happened after my birthday... June 1st... Landers signed up to blog in June 2007, not May. So the date on my profile is wrong.
A coincidence is that I actually joined blog in May 2005... as Landers!
I used to use LiveJournal but hated the blog web address as it was very long winded and wanted something that was easy to tell my technophobic mother. A quick hop into Google and a basic search for "blog" took me to blog.co.uk (beta) and within seconds I was signed up and hooked. This was in May 2005 and it wasn't long before I found Andy, Juz, Lynda, Dean, Jake and many others so my friends list began growing. In the February of 2006 I organised the first Bloscars and although it was went well I got a bit pissed off with the shitty emails I was getting from people telling me it was a pathetic idea or that it was just a way for me to boost the ego's of people on my friends list. The emails got more and more insulting until in the end I decided to just leave.
Three months later I was back, as MrBrightside but only told a few people. This was in the days when you could change your username so when I decided to come back properly I changed the username to Paddy and began inviting friends back again.
This was how I stayed until I moved over to Landers due to the foster kid (please see above!).
So, what I'm trying to say is that sometime in the middle of May of 2005 I joined BCUK and now, sometime in the middle of May in 2008, it could be my blogging anniversary. Three years later I/ve made some fantastic friends, got close to wonderful people, met people who are going to stay in my life, chatted with people I've yet to meet but know I'm desperate to and got to tour the BCUK HQ, meet those who make it happen and generally make a nuisance of myself.
I love blogging. Happy Anniversary me!
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Sweets from a stranger...
@ 2008-05-17 – 08:27:42
Remember when your parents would tell you to never take sweets from a stranger?
This is who they meant...
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A note to my Subscribers...
@ 2008-05-16 – 22:32:15
You may see something strange going on with my blog and see some posts that don't really make sense.
Trust me, they do make sense, just not really with bloggin. All will become clear at some point... I imagine... or maybe it won't... who knows!
Oh I'll update you with the rest of Berlin story tomorrow when I haven't been at work all day and getting pissed off by my car!
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Recent Twitterings...
@ 2008-05-16 – 00:10:01
In the last 24 hours I have twittered the following...
- 05:48 Leaving the boat and heading for the train station. #
- 06:38 Sat in Berlin Ostbahnhof awaiting the train for Schönefeld. #
- 07:40 Waiting to board plane. #
- 11:04 Landed and am not happy. Fucking Ryanair, fucking people. Bastards! All bastards! ##
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When You're Good to Mama... Monday in Berlin!
@ 2008-05-15 – 17:08:16
So if you ignore the Twitterings we last left our impressive heroes preparing for a short bus trip from Templehof Airport to Schönenfeld Airport to meet Kelly aka RunDontWalk aka Menomama. En route we passed a Woolworths which I had to photograph just to show Helen as we don't have Woolworths in Ireland.
As always, click the pictures to see a bigger version!We stood around and waited for her to come out of the arrivals doors with me pacing up and down demanding to know where she was when all of a sudden Rampage ran off towards a woman with the longest arms in the world. At first glance they look like the normal arms of any normal woman but when you see her hug someone and she manages to wrap her arms around them twice and squeeze real tight you see her arms are wonderously encompassing. You'd be forgiven that thinking maybe the person she was hugging was extremely thin and she was really bendy but when you see her hugging three people at once you see that it is that she has arms long enough to do this and heart that matches! - as in it's big, not long and bendy!
Back on a bus, then U-Bahn and S-Bahn we were soon back at Chez Rampage and after a quick tinkle, poo, drink and change of clothes we headed downstairs to a bar just below Chez Rampage to drink some beers! Mmmm beer!We watched as the owner chastised those people who dared to ride bicycles on the pavement and not the cycle path, laughed as she took pictures of us wearing frog hats (see the name of the bar), sniggered at the inability of Rampage to pour a pint, wow'd at the picturesque tattoo's of NittyGritty, Oooo'd at the tales of the Greenwich meet and smiled with glee as the bar owner let us sign her apron. Soon our tummy's were a-rumblin' so it was off to an Ethiopian restaurant for some din dins.
Now you'd be forgiven if you thought for one minute that by going to an Ethiopian Restaurant that you'd not get much to eat. I think I may have found the reason they are all starving... because they send all the food to this restaurant! No matter what you order, or who orders what, it all comes out on a massive tray covered in bread with your order placed on the bread. You take a piece of the bread and scoop up some of the food. I had a raw beef dish which was out of this world but a bit of problem for NittyGritty as she was a vegetarian and in the low light of the restaurant it was hard to tell which dish was which! We managed though and en enjoyable meal was had by all. We didn't finish all of it as there was so much but thankfully BeriinNights (Matt) turned up after flying back from the Land of my Fathers and polished off what we'd left. I had a mango flavoured beer which was very very sweet and came in a wooden bowl which of course lead to the obligatory picture of me wearing said bowl! A bowl is not a bowl until it's been on some persons head!
Once the meal was over we headed to a gothic bar called Cynanide (only spelled in Germanish!) which is going to take some describing! First off it was down some stairs in what appear to be a cellar. If this had been a movie then Matt would have been a vampire leading us into his dungeon. I say Matt because he's the only one I'd not seen in the daylight! Of course Rampage and Grit could have been his minions of some sort but both of them were too nice to be that really! Our table was a coffin with a class top... with a body in it! The menu was apparently cursed by voodoo to stop people stealing and should you try you'll get warts on your buttocks! The menu was also rather insulting saying things like "Becks - for stupid people. Bud - The Latvian stuff not the American stuff, for the tourists. Coke - for the weaklings**" and things like that. Going to the toilet was an experience! The hallway leading to the toilets was in the pitch and it wasn't until you were a third of the way down that a strobe light starting flashing to semi-illuminate the way! As you walked into the toilet the light, activated by a sensor, came on and if you stood too long at the urinal it would turn off again leaving you, once again, in the pitch - which too be honest, is the best way to be in those mucky mucky toilets!We drank and drank some more, with only Stephen and I partaking in the litres of beer, everyone else drinking shorts! At one point I thought my luck was in as Stephen through a condom at me and winked but all he really wanted was to see my world famous trick of putting a condom up my nose and bringing it out my mouth. I thought I'd leave out bringing it out my mouth inflated until our next visited. Suitable disgusted or impressed the drinking continued until we were all a little merry. Unfortunately the drinking lead to the revelation of certain events from our past... no, that's wrong... drinking lead to revelations from Stephen's past... stories concerning jugs and the many uses of. I'd like to reveal more of this story but there are a number of things stopping me.No.1. It's disgusting and may sully the good name of my blog.No.2. It may disturb some bloggers.No.3. I quite like Stephen and don't think it's fair to damage his already drowning reputation.No.4. Stephen has the power to delete my blog!Matt left to catch his train but soon returned as he'd missed it and ended up coming back with us to sleep at Chez Rampage.
With a room already full with me, Brad, Stephen and Kelly, one more didn't seem to make much of a difference... until the farting started. It was like listening to bears guarding cubs and marking out their space. First one would go, then another, then another and at one point I was quite sure Kelly actually imploded! About an hour after we'd actually got into bed there were some strange noises coming from the general area of Stephen and Matt who were sharing a bed and I was quite tempted to get the camera out but then I heard Stephen shout "Keep quiet!" so I settled back down. I don't know if he was telling Matt not to moan too loudly or telling Brad to keep the snoring down but either way it worked as when I awoke in the morning they were gone, having headed off to work!I think that'll do for now. Coming up in the next entry... Kelly reveals who was farting in the night, Stephen buys us dinner and we visit blog.co.uk headquarters!TTFN! -
Recent Twitterings...
@ 2008-05-15 – 00:12:01
In the last 24 hours I have twittered the following...- 10:20 In awe again... only this time by Vasco buying the drinks! #
- 10:21 Enjoying my trip. #
- 11:04 Walking round the Jewish memorial. It's impressive but not very Jewish... and it's full of kids! #
- 11:05 Watching Brad in the distance taking pictures. He is so beautiful! I'm so in love! #
- 12:03 Watching Judith Chalmers take pictures! #
- 12:21 Trying to get my breath back and the feeling in my legs after climbing up the 304 steps of the Victoria (?) Monument! #
- 12:41 Relaxing with a carton me carat water and a cola after coming down the 304 steps of the Victoria monument. I cannot feel my feet or legs. #
- 12:56 Wondering why my boyfriend can be so mean! He is making me walk EVERYWHERE! I'm old, fat and gay... I don't walk! #
- 15:16 Relaxing on the boat before meeting Ramps and the others. #
- 16:27 Sat on deck, drinking beer, staring at the Berlin Wall. #
- 17:27 Ashamed by my disgusting burping boyfriend! #
- 18:49 Wondering why I'm still sat at a party full of geeks! #
- 19:01 Watching something big go up in flames! #
- 19:08 Talking to an American guy and I'm just waiting for him to start singing "God is in his holy temple!" #
- 19:14 Chatting to another American with an annoying voice... think Rick Moranis in Ghostbusters #
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Recent Twitterings...
@ 2008-05-14 – 00:12:01
In the last 24 hours I have twittered the following...- 01:53 Going to bed with Brad, Stephen, Kelly and Martin. This should be an interesting night! Can anyone DVDA? #
- 01:55 It would appear Martin is actually Matt! My bad! #
- 12:44 In awe of the Brandenburg Gate. #
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Ick Bin Eyen Berliner
@ 2008-05-13 – 09:32:46
So where did I leave off?
Ah, yes! Being a little pissed after watching Rampage play footie!
After grabbing some "sneaky beers" - the same a Cheeky Beer in Birmingham - we headed back to Chez Rampage for a quick dump, Guinness and change of clothes and then headed off to the Karneval (carnival) that was taking place in Berlin at the time.
Rampage has a mate who has a mate who invited him via him to view the Karneval from his balcony over-looking the whole thing. the sun was roasting and I did burned my head!
After a while we decided to go back to Chez Rampage so that Brad and I could have a little sleep as by this point we'd both been up for about twenty-six hours so a little nap would do us good. The plan was to sleep for three hours, wake, text Rampage to find out where he was and then go meet him.
This plan failed. Drastcially!
We slept... for eighteen hours... with small breaks inbetween.
I woke up about midnight when Ramps came in and bashed away at his 'puter like he was trying to hammer the keys back in with his tiny mallet fingers. I woke again about 4ish when Rampie came home, farted and then fell into bed. I then work around 7ish when I went for a pee and fag. Half an hour after being back in bed Ramps woke up once more, with a huge erection*, and I said good morning. His repyl was "Uggh nurrg urgghh nurg need pee uggh gugrg nurrg," and he left, returning about 5 minutes later and falling back in to bed.
I woke again a little while later and lay in bed reading some of the Rampies impressive amount of classic books - the Divine Comedy, A Picture of Dorian Gray, Pierced Over 60's, Lesbians Expose Monthly, to name but a few.
Finally by midday everyone was up with Ramps feeling a little worse for all the alcohol he'd had.
We headed off for breakfast at an all you can eat buffet place and pigged out on bread and cheese and scrambled egg and some raw meat product that I only took one bit of. Then we had a stoll in the park where the was a fair on and a ride where you could get "Well Flung!"
From there we walked up to Tempelhof Airport. An airport built by Hitler and then used by the American's up until the 70's during the cold war when Russia became a little bit of a pain in the ass.
Seeing the airport and knowing it's history was qutie awe inspiring. I love history and seeing something built by Hitler was quite a humbling moment for me. It's a shame they plan to flatten it.
From there it was a short bus ride to meet Kelly (Rundontwalk - Meno).
Now people are waiting for me as we're off to see more sites so I'll tell you more about the meet and greet at the airport, the ethopian food, the coffin and the ambiwanking later.
TTFN x
*he'll be thrilled I added that I'm sure!
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Recent Twitterings...
@ 2008-05-13 – 00:10:01
In the last 24 hours I have twittered the following...- 13:17 Have just eaten a marvellous breakfast of schtuff... and can feel my legs. #
- 14:23 Off to meet Kelly. Am very nervous but even more excited! #
- 16:36 Hoping "someone" remembers to go feed the cats... although I'm not all THAT fussed if the truth be told. Am I evil? #
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From LyndLJ and to LyndLJ
@ 2008-05-12 – 17:24:16
LyndLJ has sent me a text and asked me to pass on a message to you all...
She may not be on blog for a little while as she has a family emergency.
If you want any messages passed to LyndLJ please send them to me and I'll make sure she gets them. I would say PM her but I don't know how long she'll be off for.
Lynda... my thoughts are with you x
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Recent Twitterings...
@ 2008-05-12 – 00:14:01
In the last 24 hours I have twittered the following...- 04:06 Waiting at the airport with piss coffee to drink but lovely gorgeousness for company! #
- 04:22 Watching Brad read blogs at an internet terminal in the airport. #
- 10:44 Watching Rampage play football... he's very fast! #
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The beginning...
@ 2008-05-11 – 13:27:54
So we arrived.
Rampage met us at the airport, although it did take us a little while to work out it was him after much staring at various people and saying to ourselves "I do hope it's not him!" Thankfully none of them were and we were pleasantly surprised when a lovely bloke turned up and we got aquainted.
After enjoy toast and chocolate spread for breakfast we went off to watch Rampers play football.
Rampers is in the green... and on it!... I have a feeling he may become "A Man for Monday!"
Once the footie had finished we headed orf for a beer or two.
And we're now at Rampage's place... I'm a little bit pissed... and it's only 2.30pm and we've got lots of drinking to do...
Upon return to Ireland I will have no liver.
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Joy joy joy!
@ 2008-05-11 – 04:02:24
So here we are sat at Dublin airport.
Two hours before we're due to take off. We've got an over-priced under-flavoured coffee to keep us company and we're in the arse end of the airport which is currently a load of glued together portakabins while they continue to rebuild the all new bright and glowey airport!
I thank the Gods of flight that we've got priority check-in but it'll be sods law that so has every other fucker!
I'm tired. I'm cranky. Coffee isn't working. There is no smoking area, which is hugely unfair, and all I want to do is sleep!
Rampage will be sorry he agreed to meet us at the airport when he views the state I'm in... which will just get worse as we endure the two hours with the staff (I use that word lightly) of Ryanair!
Give me back my private jet you bastard! Damn the establishment and damn the tax man for taking all my money... and my private jet!
Ta ta for now everyone! See you in Berlin... as my grandfather said as they pushed him out of his B-19 troop carrier in 1941.
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In these shoes? I don't think so.
@ 2008-05-10 – 14:54:32
Right, a quick update...
Dentist as okay. Better than expected although I did get a little worked and got out the chair with a mouthful of cotton wool and think about walking out there and then. I nearly bit her fingers off at one point!
Anyhoo... off to Berlin in a few hours... well no, off to the Duggan's for Rhubarb Crumble and custard and then off to Dublin and then off to Berlin until Thursday.
Will try and find an internet cafe or summat to keep you informed.
Until then tchüs.
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Recent Twitterings...
@ 2008-05-10 – 00:10:01
In the last 24 hours I have twittered the following...- 10:32 Shopping! #
- 11:11 Why don't Tesco do everything I want! Life is so unfair! #
- 14:04 Sat in the dentist waiting room on the verge of tears! #
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Oh. My. Shit!
@ 2008-05-09 – 13:44:59
So some of you may remember a few months ago I blogged about how half a tooth had fallen out.
Well last week the pain became stupid but I managed to get over it.
My fear of dentists and all things toothy means I haven't done anything about it.
This morning the pain has made me throw up.
So I took a brave step and headed to the dentist. I have an appointment at 2pm.
I am fucking petrified. And I mean it quite literally. I cannot stop shaking. I'm on the verge of tears. The pain is excruciating and I just want to curl up in bed and call my mother.
I've never made a dentist appointment on my own and never been to see one on my own.
Today I will... I hope!
Now, if you'll excuse me I still have some vomit to bring up and need to take quite a number of different tablets just to get me out the door.
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A Man for Monday
@ 2008-05-05 – 14:33:11
Adam Grant
One would suggest you don't google him unless you want a shock.Please feel free to suggest other people, celebs, bloggers... anyone... for A Man for Monday. All requests will be considered and I'll do my best to get them. -
Recent Twitterings...
@ 2008-05-03 – 00:08:01
In the last 24 hours I have twittered the following...- 13:48 Thinking that sometimes it's hard not to take it personally. #
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Recent Twitterings...
@ 2008-05-02 – 00:12:01
In the last 24 hours I have twittered the following...- 08:06 Watching Falcon Crest! I'm 12 again... And very gay... And loving this! I AM Angela Channing! #