I hate our fucking hoover!

I don't care that I'm being selfish because it was kindly lent to us and without it we'd be walking on a carpet of dog hair.

I HATE IT!

We just had a MAFISS gust of wind and around 14 birds shot across the field, all tumbley outta control!

Followed by a lamb doing gambols* across the field!

EDIT: More lambs followed but they were running... or rather being pushed!

EDIT 2: And now the sheep are all heading (again more likely being pushed!) for the wall of the field!

*A gambol (gam-bowl) for those of you who don't know is a forward roll!

Am stupidly early... again!

So I've nipped round the corner to the place with the superfastwhizzyzippy wireless internet connection to download all my lovely updates and other stuff!

Hoop-de-doop!

I've been longing for a job for agggggeeeess!

Now I've got one I'd rather be here blogging!

I think that may only be because it's Bloscars day!

Huzzah!

See you all at 9pm!

Well this could be old news to some.

This is how the story goes...

In November I applied for a job with a centre that helps children and adults with learning difficulties. The interview went well and they seemed impressed with my knowledge and background.

During the interview I had to hand in a Garda checking form. This is like a CRB check in the UK only a lot more in depth. You have to put down EVERY address you've ever had. I also had to give them three references. I gave them two ex-employers and a social worker from fostering.

So jump forward a week or so after that...

I get a phone call. My Garda check hasn't come in and they are missing a reference. I give them the email details of the reference they are missing and wait some more.

Now jump forward to three weeks ago.

I get a phone call to say my Garda check is clear but they are miss two references. The social workers and my last job! It just so happens that I spoke to the social worker the week before and she'd been off work for weeks and weeks and weeks due to a broken akel and had only just got my reference request. She promised to fill it in and send it off as a priority... which she did... but my ex-employer... my last job... still hadn't done theirs! Bitches! No, not fair... bitch I should say ... there is only one of them that is a bitch, the others are all lovely and fine. It just so happens that my reference has to come from this bitch. So I give the new job a different name to contact at the office and hope that things get moving!

MJ knows these people quite well as he does a taxi run for them and the girl he picks up has been asking him constantly if I've heard anything and he has to keep saying because... well because I hadn't!

Until today...

She has just rang!

I START TOMORROW!!!

Go see if you've got one! Clicky Clicky

Ceej's is funny, Nick is hilarious but Shipscook... Christ, it's too fucking funny!

I have a secret Bloscars mission and am looking for five (at least!) if not more people to do a little writing for me. Just a paragraph. It'll take five minutes of your time (thereabouts!)

If you're interested PM me or leave a comment here.

Thank you.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK ONE OF THOSE FUCKING DAYS FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK CUNT FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

H A P P Y

B I R T H D A Y

S U Z E E

x x x

1. Since completing 400 things I knew I would eventually round it up to 500.
2. My worry now is that I'll want to go to a 1000.
3. I find Alan Carr funny on his own but not with Justin Lee Collins. I feel the same about Justin Lee Collins.
4. I was a fan of Dallas and Dynasty and The Colbys but my favourite was Falcon Crest.
5. I did not like Knots Landing.
6. I find Paddy McGunniess strangely attractive.
7. I was once told I sound like a gay Frank Skinner.
8. My mother always told me that cards celebrating events should stay for one week. The only exception is Chrsitmas cards which stay up until the 6th January. Our Valentines cards are still up.
9. I do not understand the ending of Donnie Darko but I did enjoy the film.
10. I end up in arguments with friends as I think the best Prime Minister ever was Margaret Thatcher.
11. I am a Royalist but hate Prince Charles.
12. I used to have my cock pierced.
13. I think David Gest is a freak.
14. I would like to learn to play the Xylophone.
15. I have three recurring dreams that I have about four times each a year.
16. Barry Norman once called me a fucking bastard.
17. I have no faith in the British Justice system but don't carte anymore as I don't live there.
18. My dog that lives with my parents was named after Hopeton House in Scotland.
19. I like my steak blue.
20. I think Derek Acorah is a big fake.
21. I can knit.
22. I could play Halo, Fable or Blood Omen over and over again.
23. I thought this film was boring.
24. I have three SLR camera's and prefer the pictures taken on them than a digital but digital is so much more convinient.
25. I used to work for QVC.
26. And Sky.
27. And VH-1.
28. I get very pissed off when a programme is advertised as live ("Live at five on four!") when it's recorded the night before.
29. I was this age when I met Brad.
30. I think I'm the only person in the world who would like to see Noel's House Party return.
31. I believe my grandad came and told me everything was okay two days after he died. I think it's more likely that I was dreaming.
32. I can sign my mothers signature. Even she can't tell the difference.
33. My sign-name (BSL//ISL) is the sign for pink while Brad's is the sign for man!
34. Like Rampage I am the only person in my family who can carry on the family name.
35. Being gay, unlike Rampage, I will not be carrying on the family name.
36. This sometimes upsets me.
37. For Christmas one year I got a set of knee and elbow pads for skate boarding. I didn't own a skateboard and had never tried it so gave them away. In the summer of the following year I began skate boarding and injured myself many times, which wouldn't have happened if I'd have had the pads.
38. I would help anyone with anything if I'm able and get pissed off when others won't help me.
39. I only ever wanted to join the RAF because my Grand-father was in it.
40. I do very loud sneezes and can't help it.
41. I once grew a moustache for a play and ended up looking like Howard from Last of the Summer wine.
42. For my A-level film studies exam we had to compare Robocop and Valdimir Propp's theory of fairy tales. I likened it to Eygpt and the Pharaohs and wrote pages about how they ruled, only mentioning Robocop or Propp once or twice. I got an A.
43. I got so pissed off and bored with my history teacher at school that I lit a cigarette up in the class just to see him get angry. He sent me out the room and I winked and said "I'll bet you feel alive now!"
44. I was an arrogant fucker at school and suspended a number of times but never expelled.
45. I got the cane twice in my first year.
46. The teacher that gave me the cane became head-master of a village primary school, which he got the sack from after pornographic images of little boys was found in his desk drawer.
47. The head of the lower school (11 to 13 year olds) was call Mr. Lunt. We called him Eric.
48. The only thing I can say in German is "My hamster is dead"
49. In Dutch I can say "suck this bitch"
50. My nan asked me to help her die.
51. Brad's friend Ami once told me that she really liked me but if I ever hurt she'd hunt me down and kill me.
52. I'm very proud that one of my oldest friends went on active duty with the Navy during the first Gulf War even though I don't speak to him anymore.
53. As the curtain opened of a play I was in I was supposed to be on the phone talking away. As the curtain came up the cable of the phone got caught in one of the curtain tassels and took the phone up into the air and as it went past it smacked me on the chin. When the curtain stopped the phone dropped and hit the stage so I picked it, shouted "darling it's doing it again!" and then said "sorry about that, now where was I?"
54. I can touch type.
55. I wouldn't make a very good spy because I'd often be over heard whispering saying "Don't tell anyone but I'm a spy!"
56. I used to be a club DJ and only did it because people thought I was cool. I thought I was an arrogant wanker.
57. I used to to hitch-hike all over the country.
58. I once forgot the name of the person I was having sex with.
59. I have slept in a skip.
60. I was a "Founder Member" on BCUK.
61. If I'm hanging out clothes on a washing line with coloured pegs each item of clothing has to have the same coloured pegs. The next item must have a different colour. Socks must only have white pegs.
62. Because of the above I try to only buy wooden pegs.
63. I think Derren Brown is a twat but often find myself watching his programmes.
64. I have been "blogging" since the 16 January 2003 via online sites but have been doing it long in writing.
65. I hate yoghurts with fruit it in but will happily tip the fruity corner of a Muller into my yoghurty corner.
66. Brad proposed to me in Bulgaria by a moonlit swimming pool on August 15th 2006.
67. My favourite food is Chicken Fried Rice.
68. I put ice in my milk. Brad finds this strange.
69. I got my hearing aid on the 27th October 2006. I should have had it long before then but never admitted I was deaf.
70. I can jive, cha-cha, salsa (badly and waltz and tap dance.
71. I can ice-skate but I haven't for years.
72. I once walked around on a broken ankle for three weeks not knowing it was broken.
73. My iPod is laser etched with the words "Landers" and underneath it says "Who's the daddy?" - I am so very ashamed of that.
74. I get excited every morning as I await the arrival of my email.
75. I love to read but do not do enough of it.
76. If I hear screeching breaks I wince.
77. I cried happy tears when I saw Helen in a bridesmaid dress because she looked so beautiful.
78. I wailed happy tears when I saw her in her wedding dress for the same reason.
79. I often wonder why later monarchs have never abolished the Church of England. I'd be ashamed of my heritage.
80. A friend and I went to a fancy dress as Posh & Becks. Her costume comprised of a pair of sunglasses and mine was some beige jeans (with glitter in the material!) and a mohican hair-do. Everyone knew who we were.
81. I think Arnold Schwarzenegger is an awful emotionless actor and his wife is insane.
82. I like to die in my sleep like my grandfather, not kicking and screaming like the passengers in his car.
83. Unless they are allergic to it or have tried it before I think people who won't at least try new food are idiots.
84. So much so that the hairs on the back of my neck stand-up and I feel myself getting angry when people saying "I don't like it" and they haven't even tried it. The same goes for TV programmes they have never watched!
85. I hate Michael Schumacher but respect him and is driving skills.
86. If it didn't sound pretentious or wasn't so expensive I'd drink champagne on nights out.
87. I could spend days walking round art galleries and museums.
88. I think I am a better artist than Hirst or Emin and all the other wasters like them. I just don't have the money or backing or know-how (publicity wise) to create the things I think of.
89. I think in 100 years people will look back at my era and realise that really we listened to, watched, took part in and appreciated a pile of shit! And I'm ashamed that I'll be label as being part of that. Imagine looking back and seeing Big Brother, X-Factor, Emin & Hirst, plays that are spin-off, rip-offs or copies, remade films, auto-biographies by Jade Goody. I shudder when I wonder what my ancestors will think about us.
90. Re-reading that last bit I'm tempted to turn it into an entry on it's own.
91. I don't believe in the phrase that you can't love someone else until you love yourself.
92. I am stubborn in my opinions but I am happy to have my opinion changed on something if someone can convince me otherwise.
93. I believe in reincarnation but I don't believe humans come back as animals. I think we stick to our species and this goes with my feelings on soul groups.
94. It has never been explained sufficiently enough (in my mind anyway) why some people are frightened of me and I'd love to know.
95. I have been up and about for two and half hours now and I've not eaten, had a coffee or rolled a smoke.
96. I empty my e-mail inbox on a weekly basis.
97. I quite often find myself dancing for no reason when there is no music on.
98. I cannot go to sleep without some form of noise... other than snoring!
99. I once swallowed the ball off the top of my tongue bar. I found it and still have it
100. There will not, never, at all, be a 6th list!

Watch it all. I haven't laughed so much in ages!

I'm look for any one who works at or has a friend who works at a university or college.

PM me or leave a comment here and I'll reply with why etc.

Thank you.

Click here for the full version.

So I said I wouldn't but then I decided I would.

1. I don't think I'll get another 100 but thought I'd try.
2. I will post it not matter how far I get..
3. I find humour attractive.
4. I think anyone who says looks aren't important is lying. It may not be the most important thing but it's still something to consider.
5. I used to make clocks out of vinyl picture discs and sell them to my mates at school.
6. I made Brad a clock out of books.
7. We have the biggest DVD collection of anyone I know.
8. When learning short-hand I could never read back the word kitchen. It never made any sense.
9. When learning double entry accounting I got sooo bored when the lecturer went on about Pacioli that I walked out. "Do you need the toilet?" he asked, "something like that," I replied and I went and sat in the canteen as I already knew far more than him about Pacioli (I did say on list one that I was arrogant!)
10. My electronics teacher once pulled me from the student common room to his classroom by my hair.
11. About four weeks earlier I'd given him permission to do it if he had to.
12. And signed a piece a paper saying so.
13. Which was then witnessed by the other guy in the class.
14. The first injury I ever tended to was when I was about 12 and my mother sliced the to of her thumb off with a ring-pull.
15. The first incident I saw as a nurse was a man with three nails in his hand.
16. Removed.
17. I have astigmatism in both eyes.
18. I have never really understood what that means but I have glasses for it that I only wear when my eyes feel bad or I have a headache.
19. I passed my driving test on my second go.
20. On the first test I hit a milk float.
21. My instructor was an ex police instructor.
22. He was also my paternal grand-fathers best man.
23. I've got a lump behind my knee that the doctor has said is an insect bite with an egg in it.
24. If I have it removed it'll scar for life.
25. If I leave it it'll just fall out and heal over.
26. It's been there about ten years now.
27. I don't understand quantum physics.
28. Or normal physics either actually
29. I beieve dogs see "other" things to us.
30. I steal a tea spoon from the restaurants if it's an important or memorable meal.
31. I once poked a biro into Jim Davidson's back side.
32. While working as a nurse a drunk casualty gave me his house keys to look after. He died that night. I still have his house keys.
33. I used to host my own radio show.
34. My first pet was a black and white Border Collie called Twiggy.
35. When I was 10 a doctor told me I'd grow to be 6ft and wouldn't stop growing until I was 30.
36. He was wrong on both counts.
37. I hated Queer As Folk and still think Russell T. Davies is a wanker who can't write for shit.
38. I once stopped myself from going for a wee for three days.
39. My parents used to have a carved wooden picture of a viking longboat. One day, while it was on the floor and not hanging on the wall (I don't know why) I pushed it along as though it was a real ship and had a split of wood go in one side of my hand and come out the other.
40. I was circumcised when I was 21.
41. It was one of the most painful experiences of my life.
42. I have size 11 feet.
43. I am happy for anyone to have my mobile phone number as I can refuse calls.
44. You'll be lucky if you ever have my home number.
45. I've had two stalkers.
46. When I asked an ex to describe me in one word he said "AbFab"
47. He admitted that using that was cheating so then said "bald."
48. I called him a cunt.
49. Of all my ex's he is the one I'm closest to and speak to the most.
50. Up until we moved to Ireland I had a private number plate on my car.
51. The film that scares me the most is The Elephant Man. I have to watch it in three parts and still have nightmares after each part.
52. I have no idea why.
53. I have a friend who used to come with me to nursing lectures just for the hell of it.
54. I can't have my sign language course paid for even though I'm going to need them in a few years.
55. I tried to replace a car window once (side not front or back) on my own. I tightened the mechanism up too much and the glass shattered all over me and went in my eyes.
56. While my parents were on holiday I took my fathers Range Rover out and lost the keys. I got a taxi to take me home for the spare set and drove it back home and parked it up. To this day he thinks he took the keys on holiday with him and left them there.
57. A neighbour told him I'd been out in the car. I denied it and pointed out how the neighbour hated me and would do anything to get me in trouble. He never spoke to that neighbour again.
58. While she was away I had her garage doors painted bright pink.
59. Me and my friend Sam got very drunk and slept in my car using a wet wipe each as a blanket.
60. I cannot cross my fingers.
61. I can cross my toes.
62. A psychic once told me I'd have four kids and would marry the girl I'd arrived with. I told her she was wrong as I was gay and the girl was my cousin. She told me to stop lying to her to try and catch her out.
63. There are certain songs that will always make me cry. Two of them are hymns.
64. I'd love to own a potters wheel.
65. My pottery teach was in the original Dr. Doolittle film.
66. I often wonder what they'll find when they develop a better more powerful microscope.
67. I think the same about telescopes
68. I have difficulty controlling my hand and eye co-ordination when looking in a mirror.
69. I have £1 in a Co-op bank account that has been there since 1997. I have no idea how to access it.
70. I once dated a guy who asked asked if we could rent out the spare room to a girl from his work. I agreed and a week or so later they started sleeping together!
71. We split up but for some reason stayed friends and I continued to let them live with me.
72. She asked if we could rent out the other spare room to one of the other waitresses. I agreed and a week or so later she started sleeping with her.
73. He came back to me.
74. I told him where to go so he went back to her. She said no so he started seeing the new house mate.
75. I haven't seen any of them since 98 but hear that he and the 2nd girl and still together.
76. I could spend hours looking round stationary shops.
77. I can't stand Marilyn Manson.
78. The most important discovery I made while being a venture scout is how to make alcohol.
79. It made us very ill and our venture group was closed down.
80. I love all things Egyptian and would love to cruise along the Nile and thanks to Nick am learning to read Hieroglyphics.
81. I don't like fizzy cola bottles.
82. After shuffling a pack of cards and splitting it into four piles I can make an ace appear at the top of each one.
83. One of our foster kids told his mother and the social services that I was the Godfather.
84. One of Brad's mom's foster kids told the social services that Brad was the daddy because he goes to work and comes home and sits down and I was the mommy because I do all the cooking and cleaning.
85. I make my own biscuits.
86. I can blow smoke rings.
87. I was once described as the straights gay man ever. I was the only gay person they'd met at the time.
88. I do not need to watch a film all the way though to find out if I'm going to like it and can usually tell within the first 15 minutes.
89. I am rarely wrong with the above.
90. I know that cockney rhyming slang was invented for almost the same reason as sign language. I did.
91. I'm not going to take it out but I'm ashamed about that last point as it's not really about me is it. This one is because it shows I'm ashamed.
92. It has just gone midnight and I have needed a wee since seven-ish.
93. I can only drink two pints of cider as it has an affect on me very quickly and after the first pint I can already feel myself getting drunk.
94. I think the most beautiful woman in the world is my mother.
95. I am keeping copies of all these for my web-site.
96. I am not a fan of gold jewellery but am currently wearing gold earrings.
97. When I worked on A&E the sister defended me in front of the admins and told them that I wouldn't be me if I took my earrings out. As such I was the only male member of staff allowed to wearing any earrings I wanted while working. All the others had to wearing small studs or loops.
98. I have a vast collection of watches.
99. I have never completed any of the Tomb Raider games.
100. There will not be a 5th list but there might be weekly one hundred!

Computers the size of blood cells will create fully immersive virtual realities by 2033, leading inventor Ray Kurzweil has predicted.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/7258105.stm

Reading this makes me angry. My reasons are pathetic but they are there and by blogging them it means I won't take it out on the car or camera when I go out in a while to take some piccies.*

I have no issue with the guy being called an inventor even if I personally feel he is a developer or programmer and not an inventor, but, if you want to take things literally then yes, he invents.

My issue is calling him a Futurologist.

Where the fuck do people come up with these titles? I make predictions about the future all the time and I know for fact I had a discussion like this around seven years ago so in my head that makes me cleverer than him! I doubt I am but that's not the point.

I'm going to start putting my predictions in to the public forum and then we'll see who knows what mister, then we'll see!

Bah!

*See Charlie, Andy, I listened... I'm off oot to click click!

So last night I decided to nip ootside for a fag. Yes yes I'm smoking again but I still consider myself a non-smoker. I have one, maybe two, roll-ups* a day and I'm not bothered I don't even have those.

Anyhoo, so I went outside for a ciggie and decided to walk around the house. In the distance I could hear the foxes screaming and coughing as I got to the back of the house it got louder and louder.

Finally back at the front door there was an almighty commotion filled with much wailing and screaming and coughing and high-pitched barking. I came in and told Brad and I said that I thought it sounded like a a fox had got one of the sheep.

Fast forward to this morning and I'm sat at the kitchen table drinking coffee, reading blogs and looking out the window (I'm so multi-talented) when I see the farmer dragging what looked like half a carcass across the field, dumping it on his quad-bike and heading off into the distance.

I do so love the views from here.

*Cigar sized

My got tagged by that Rampage fella!

I. You have to look up page 123 in the nearest book to you.
II. Look for the fifth sentence.
III. Then post the three sentences that follow the fifth sentence
IV. Tag five people to do the same.

So my first "book" was my diary. I will not be posting anything from that! The second "book" was the Freemans catalogue. This is shit. So I turned around to walk to the bookshelf and saw there is another book closer to me. Lords of the Bow by Conn Iggulden.

Genghis glances at Barchuk at his side, noting the man's expression of satisfaction. He was there as an interpreter, but Kokchu and Temuge stood with them as well to hear what the king's messenger had to say. Both men had taken to their studies of the Chin language with what Genghis considered to be indecent enjoyment.

I would like to point out that this book is not homo-erotica. Not matter what the first line makes you think!

I tag Bloglikesit, LyndLJ, Juzzzy, Hebbrundelboy and JakeTaylor and if you've already been tagged then do it twice!

Bush winding up tour in Liberia

I read this headline completely wrong.

I can't stop giggling.

I'm such a child.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7256133.stm

The following conversation has just taken place...

Me: Do you sell lighter fluid?
Her: What?
Me: Do you sell lighter fluid?
Her: What?
Me: Do you sell lighter fluid?
Her: :lank look::
Me: Petrol for petrol lighters... zippo's?
Her: We sell petrol but it's for cars.
Me: :lank look::
Her: Do you mean gas?
Me: No. I mean fluid.
Her: We've got gas for lighters. Do you want that?
Me: No, I want fluid.
Her: :lank look::
Me: Usually comes in a little yellow metal bottle.
Her: :lank look::
Me: It's for putting into Zippo lighters.
Her: :lank look::
Me: I'll just take the paper and the card thank you.

How has she lived so long?
How can she get employment but I can't?

1. I have to wonder if my life is that empty that I have to write lists!
2. I've been up 45 minutes and have had three cups of coffee so far.
3. I know that Hush Puppies made the shoes for Dr. Evil and Mini-me from Austin Powers but I don't know why I know that.
4. I don't think I have an accent.
5. I have a particular way I have to eat sandwiches.
6. I cannot write bio's about myself on web sites.
7. I hate cereal with fruit in it.
8. I can crack my thumbs
9. I can only crack my fingers if I've spent the day typing.
10. I once had an semi-erotic dream about Jonathan Ross. I have always hated Jonathan Ross, even before the dream!
11. It was only semi-erotic because he kept saying no.
12. I think Mindy Sterling is one the funniest comic actresses ever. She does a good straight roll as well.
13. I hate the font Comic Sans
14. In 2001 out of pure boredom I took two GCSE's. One in Business Machines and one in Religious Studies.
15. I never attended a lesson and had no idea what the exam would be on.
16. I got an A* for Business Machines and a B for Religious Studies.
17. That fact scares me very much.
18. I like the fact that I've found a way to make one fact about me extend over four points in this list.
19. It makes writing this list easier.
20. See how I did it again then?
21. Of course it doesn't make for interesting reading now does it if I just pad things out all the time!
22. I once sipped on ice and slid into my car.
23. Even before I saw the film Dreamcatcher I would picture my brain as a room filled with filing cabinets.
24. The fact that others do it and even put it in a film helps me think it's normal even though I know it's probably not.
25. I think that because I do that I have this incredible knowledge of crap useless facts but lose and forget the important things - which I believe happens in most filing cabinets.
26. In club once some one said to me "aren't you Gazza's friend?" I didn't understand the reference until later but then couldn't find him in the club. Once outside he was there throwing up and being told he was barred by the doormen. I laughed lots. At him. In his face. Until he breathed on me.
27. I once threw-up on over partners cock. He dumped me. I didn't blame him. I was very drunk.
28. He was the manager of a night-club and he told the staff that he dumped me because I'd cheated on him. I told them the truth. Some people still believe him. I don't care.
29. I don't like the shape of the house being built over the road. It is the same shape as our house. I love our house.
30. I desperately want a job.
31. I am quite happy for everyone to have their own opinion even if by reading my blog you'd think I'm not.
32. Battle Royale was an excellent film. Battle Royale 2 was not.
33. People who refuse to watch foreign films because they either can't be arsed to read subtitles or don't like things being dubbed shouldn't be allowed to watch films at all - in my opinion.
34. Subtitles are much better than dubbed films - in most cases.
35. I have never had a surprise birthday party.
36. I once slipped on ice and slid into the back of my own car and knocked myself out.
37. I have been hospitalised by my own dogs twice and had an ambulance called once.
38. I have injured myself a lot.
39. My cousin convinced me Smurfs were real when I was little and that if you ate them you'd die.
40. She also convinced me that small plastic toy Smurfs used to be real but were now dead and covered in rubber and sold to kids as toys.
41. I burst into tears when she put a small Smurf toy in her mouth because I thought she was going to die.
42. A few years later she pierced my ears for me with a hot needle and a cork.
43. A few years later she glued all my fingers together with super glue.
44. A few years later she stapled a hat to my head.
45. When I was 17 I ran a jewellery business with her.
46. I haven't spoken to her since 2000 and I'm happy to keep it that way.
47. I watch the Director's Commentary edition of films on DVD's
48. I'd like to own a night-club.
49. And a hotel.
50. I am too sarcastic.
51. My mother, at 5ft1, is the tallest person on her side of the family.
52. I do not find Sasha Baron Cohen funny, at all. In fact I think he is talentless.
53. I will never understand why some people in certain professions need to get paid so much. Fireman (and such like) deserve more than footballers and politicians.
54. I once tried to learn Russian for a part in a play and the only words I can now remember are atom and cat.
55. According to my pension plan I can retire at this age.
56. I haven't paid into my pension since I was 22.
57. I sing in the shower.
58. I often say exactly what I'm thinking.
59. Sometimes I say it twice because I think I've only thought it the first time.
60. I've just watched Hillie fall off the settee while scratching herself. I can't stop laughing at her and she knows it.
61. Considering I have A-level English my spelling and grammar is appalling.
62. I also have an A at GCSE Electronics.
63. I have lost count of how many times I have electrocuted myself.
64. According to BCUK I have 1195 unread posts. I will sort that when it gets to 1973. If I miss 1973 I'll have to wait until 3267.
65. I have actually read all of them in my feed reader.
66. As soon as they are on sale over here I will be buying an iPhone.
67. If I could afford it I'd have a room filled with green plants and a couple of comfy chairs.
68. If I'd did owe a night-club (see no.48) I'd call it "Twenty Ten Twenty Twenty-Nine"
69. I have a lump on the side of my head that the doctors refused to look at it.
70. It is getting bigger.
71. I do not have a favourite sandwich filling.
72. I personally think I'd be a good carpenter, I just don't have the tools to try it or the inclination to go and buy them.
73. I would not make a good plumber.
74. I am really looking forward to Berlin
75. I feel a little sense of happiness when I'm included in a friends only post.
76. My nails need cutting.
77. I'd like Brad to take part in MasterChef or Come Dine With Me as I know he'd win.
78. I would lose.
79. I used to have an "I killed Laura Palmer" sticker on my car and I thought I was so cool!
80. I have never completed a Times Crossword.
81. I have never attempted a Times Crossword.
82. From where I am sat now I can see nine sheep.
83. When we had no TV or internet I made loads of key-rings and watched approximately 144 hours of Buffy.
84. This is the year I started big school.
85. I can roast coffee beans with a popcorn roaster.
86. I can also do it with a saucepan.
87. I am questioning why I've only applied for one job connected with coffee since we moved to Ireland (and even that didn't have anything to do with roasting beans) when I seem to know so much about the bloody stuff.
88. When I finish this list I'm going to put air in my back tyre and drop Brad's memory key off to him so he can email pictures to Miss TheBoat.
89. This is the year I left big school.
90. This was a very important year for me.
91. I rarely pee standing up.
92. I paper the seat in a public loo.
93. After I've cleaned it!
94. I can put a condom up my nose and bring it out of my mouth.
95. I still haven't shaved off my "My Name Is Earl" moustache.
96. There must be another name for it?
97. I love Lego.
98. When I was eight I was shot.
99. I can make a picture frame fr