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Above

Beyond

Anyone who has not seen this film* is seriously missing out!

* Obviously I mean the full version, not the 54 second clip I've just blogged!

Mother comes back with dad and their friends Sue and Glyn.

Now Glyn used to work for Customs and Excise. Or rather Cuschtums and Exercise and my mother kept saying. He explained that he wasn't supposed to be telling us these stories as he'd signed the officially secrets act or something like that but I found them too funny to not blog them.

So the first one...

They had a Chinese girl in the office who had been searched and found with drugs on her. When they explained what would happen she demanded "Senior Officer Option". The officers there had no idea what she was talking about. So a senior officer was contacted. He went in to the office, explained who he was, and said he didn't know of any senior officer option. Upon further questioning it turned out that she'd been stopped, searched and arrested three months earlier for the exact same offence. The senior officer had told her he could get her off the charge and let her go if she performed certain services... which she did... so he let her go. Sadly for him with her being arrested again and refused the senior officer option she wanted to make a full complaint. Glyn was unaware of the full outcome as this guy was far above him in the ranks but did know he didn't work for Customs anymore.

Story number two...

Glyn was stationed at a port for the early part of his career and while shadowing a senior officer during some training they had a truck driver from South Africa come through. For some reason the senior officer decided this truck driver looked dodgy enough to be searched. So he was fully stripped search. The poor man is stood there, starkers, when he is told to bend over. The officer nudges Glyn and points to the mans asshole and winks because there, hanging out the mans arse, is a blue string. Rubbing their hands together at the find of drugs up this blokes starfish, the officer grabs the string between his thumb and forefinger and pulls out all the stitches on the South Africans recently removed piles, and not a string attached to drugs stuck in his ring piece.

There you go... Glyns two stories... both of which I found rather amusing.

RIght fuckers...

Not my lovely friends of course....

My blog header now has an 18 symbol... you know like films have...

So before you fucking complain comment about my language try looking at that.

Oh and then fucking off... cunts!

Am loving the new look!

Not what I was expecting but still very good.

Well done.

For those of you interested in what we did over the weekend... click the pictures for a bigger view...

The weekend started on Friday night. Big Brother, blogging with the Ladee, and Brad tormenting one of our cats - hence the sticky out tongue!

Saturday saw us in Ammanford for the Ammanford Big Day Out! Or the Ammanford Carnival as it use to be known. We had a stall to try and raise money for work. It worked. We got rid of everything and strangely enough of the other two games (a Treasure Hunt and a Guess How Many Sweeties In The Jar) the same bloke won both!

We finished around 4ish, zipped home, picked Charley and headed up to Birmingham to help mommy celebrate her 60th birthday!

She was out, which we knew she would be, so we had a take away and waited for to come back, which she did eventually, pissed and with her friends Glyn & Sue. I must post a story Glyn told! Someone remind me later! While waiting for mother to come home we saw the most amazing sky.

And a flower!

So then Sunday we cooked a big roast din dins for Mother. She does on every Sunday so as we couldn't be with her during the day of her birthday we did dinner so she could have a day off.

So while we cooked...

She played on the laptop...

And I ate prawns while Brad made Yorkshire Pudds!

Then off to Brads parents to wave them off to Turkey and while waiting I tormented Brads mothers kitten.

15 minutes left at work.

No new car yet.

Hopefully Wednesday.

Finally had a poo after three days of trying.

No rain.

Cleaning nails with a pin.

Bored.

H A P P Y

B I R T H D A Y

S I X P E N C E

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