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Ladies, can you comment BEFORE you listen so I can start running.

I give you... the new Sheilas Wheels song and I'm saying nothing about Friday night.

I once read a blog entry which discussed an idea called "Meno's First Annual Numpty Awards" and decided to enter!

While working for a TV company I spent half an hour on the phone slagging off the pop group Blur, who were due in to be interviewed, only to hang up and find them stood behind me.

I have a speech impediment and cannot say the word ambulance without pausing and thinking about it. This didn't help when I used to work for the ambulance service.

Late one afternoon I popped into the little local supermarket to get some bread and milk. The place looked pretty empty and as I walked in the staff behind the tobacco counter smiled and say "Evening". I smiled back, said "Good evening!" and proceeded to let out the longest and loudest fart ever. No one, including myself, knew where to look. As I walked away everyone, once again including myself, burst into laughter!

Quite recently I lost the plot at one of our foster-kids because I found cannabis resin in a tin in his bedroom. It turned out to be a blue candle!

While sat in my car, outside a rugby club, another car pulled into the space next to mine. The driver got out and started getting something from the boot of his car. My first thought "Oooh y' would!" as he was rather cute! He closed his boot and walked past the front of my car and into the rugby as I said "Raaarrrr!" in a homage to my friend Sam. This is a phrase we say when we see cute. It's rather a posh growl. To my horror my window and sunroof were open so he heard everything. He turned back to me, winked and did the pistol point, then walked into the club!

Once day during a piano lesson I sneezed so violently I fell backwards off the piano stool and broke my wrist.

Faith doesn't have to be explained or defended.

Brad says this is Snail Poo.

I don't believe him.

I've just realised I'm going to lose all my profile tags!

All my lovely profile tags!

I think I'm going to cry.

No, I'm sure I'm going to cry!

Bacon Butties....

I had a lovely message from a blogger asking if this blog would take the same form as the other one. She was worried that because foster-bastard had read my blog I wouldn’t be as vocal as I was before.

Well rest assured my loyal and faithful audience of one, I will still be gay and not Welsh, I still be vulgar, I’ll still be flirting with men just as much as before and I was still be over-using the words fuck, cunt, so and well.

I hope that clears things up for you.