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"Stup stirring ut peepull wen therr eatin' torst!"

I think that is so far my Big Brother Quote of the series. I'm there will be more but that just makes me giggle!

Closely followed by...

"Arr cum in an' mayke torst becoz arm un ma period un a feew daze!"

We arrived at Llanelli (Cla-Neth-Clee) Town Hall at 10.30 and waited for us to be called. Finally it was our turn but we had to wait outside while our social worker went in and talked about us first. About 15 minutes later she came back out and we went in.

We were introduced to the panel and I can't remember all of their names now but I know the chairwoman was Monica. Also on the panel were 3 foster carers for other areas, a couple of independent people, Jim Downey - a child psychologist, the manager of the family placement team and then managers of the child care teams.

We were thanked for attending and then told that they'd all read our file and were interested in our comments about not feeling listened to and not being told all the information.

Sadly my mouth instantly took over and Brad didn't get a word in as I explained about the lad we had who after two weeks of being with us I said he needed someone to talk to. Not necessarily counselling but just someone who was not connected with the department, or his mother, or us in any way. We asked his social worker for this. Nothing happened. We asked our social worker for this. She bought some leaflets round. Now in her defence she did do all she could. She spoke to his social worker, she did some research, she made all the contact she could make in her position. Eight months later, with still no counsellor in sight, with this boy still getting out of hand and still needing someone to talk to, a meeting was held at the school. This lads teacher couldn't make it so the headmaster read a report out from her. "J needs someone to talk to. Someone who isn't connected to the social services, his parents or the school in anyway. This is very important and must be done as soon as possible!"

Two weeks later J had someone he could talk to. Sadly this person was connected to the department but J wouldn't know that and this person also had the power to refer him instantly to someone else if necessary. As it was it wasn't necessary but J's problems got worse.

Our other story, with regard to not being told everything, went all the way back to our very first placement. S arrived on Tuesday after school with his social worker. On Wednesday morning he left for school in his taxi. Wednesday afternoon I got a phone call from the school to say his taxi had arrived to bring him back to ours and he'd refused to get in and ran off. We spent most of the night worrying... keep in mind this is our first ever placement. We'd never had a foster child before. Thursday, late afternoon, his shite social worker rang to say he'd turned up that morning. Why the fuck didn't she ring in the morning?

But... more the fucking point... why oh why oh why didn't she tell us that he was a known runner. He'd absconded from every placement he'd ever been on.

Why the fuck did the place him with us? Were we ready for him as a first placement? Okay so sometimes the department don't have a choice and they go for the first available bed but that still doesn't explain why no one told us that written very clearly in his file is "S is a know absconder and runs from placements."

As I predicted Jake wasn't there, but neither was Anthony. In fact I'm surprised no one from the higher office was sat in the room. The issue over payments wasn't mentioned but that doesn't surprise me. Heaven forbid they should delve too much and realise just how bad they are!

Anyhoo, I've bored you I'm sure.

Suffice to say they listened to us. The child psychologist questioned us. No one else had any questions, then finally Monica thanked us again for attending, thanked us for being carers and then said she had no problem in recommending our re-registration for another twelve months.

So there you have it. We're foster carers for another 12 months.

In a little over an hour Brad & I will be sat in front of a panel made up of people from the social services, local government and three foster carer's from other areas.

We will be asked to explain our ups and downs during foster and be asked what we think about the department.

We will be questioned over the payment issue last year and over the placements that ended badly, thankfully all for reasons due to the parents or the kids or the department, never due to us as carers.

We have to explain our issues over lying and useless social workers.

We will have to tell them how angry we were the way things changed and we didn't have a say in the matter.

Everything that happens and is said today will decide if we can be foster carers for another year.

Now, blowing my own trumpet here, I know they will reregister us because they cannot do without us. Not just because they are desperate for carers but because we've never said no. As two men (well nearly!) in the house they think they can place the violent or angry children with us. We won't mind being kicked or punched or bitten because we're two strapping (well, Brad is) young men who can deal with these types of children.

These panel meetings are meant to last 30 mins. This one will be longer because of the issues we have to raise. Most panel meetings are a formality. New foster carers have to go to panel before being approved and if you've got that far in your application process that you're at panel then you're going to get a yes.

Re-registration panel meetings are a bit different because you've already been approved and now it's looking at whether you should be approved again.

I have big problems with the department and am worried I'll say something that although I mean, I probably shouldn't say. Such as "Jake, you're sat here now, can you tell me why you couldn't be fucked to answer a letter sent to you?" I actually don't think Jake will be there. I think he'll chicken out because he knows me and knows I won't let this go away. I think he'll send Anthony. Anthony is just below Jake in the social services ranking (ranking Juzzzy, Charlie, AJ, Nick CJ) ladder and is actually a nice guy but he's also very good with his words. I can't help but like him and I know he'll say something like "Well jake didn't answer because he didn't want to!" and the tone of his voice and the way he says it will just make me think "yeah you're right!". He's like that. Damn it!

Oh well... leaving the house now. Here goes nothing!